An Internal Memo from the Bureau of Self-Mutilation
A short memo within the Ethereal Board’s Universe
Hello team,
It’s come to our attention that some of us have been “dipping their pen in the company ink,” or so to speak.
Various guests of our Bureau have report sustaining injuries due to puddles of *currently* undisclosed fluids. While sticky, red and coated in a generous stench of iron, it is important that we work hard to avoid an understanding of what this “mystery” fluid may be.
Let’s all band together and agree upon what to call this incident. Could it be a rust flavored Kool-Aid? Maybe a melted bouncy ball? Probably not that last one… Regardless, our decision must be unified. We don’t want to follow in the Bureau of Conspiracies footsteps. The 60’s were very hard on them and nobody, in the Ethereal or tangible world, are buying what they’re selling.
Thankfully, though, we have less cooks in the oven; should make it much easier for us to agree.
Please reply to this email as soon as possible, otherwise we will miss our opportunity to control the narrative! And always remember; If you’re going to “practice what you preach,” keep it at home and out of these Ethereal streets.
P.S. The department of wood working has reached out to request we remove all alcohol from our Bureau. Apparently, there is an addict in their department that seems to be sneaking out and into other neighboring departments/bureaus to find booze. So, drink it while you can so we can look our for our brother’s.
