Darkened Depths

I once wrote a poem about my grandfather
It was the same thing forward and backwards
Meant to represent the reality of his Alzheimer’s
A la Benjamin Button.

But now I catch myself replacing him with me
As if I’ve chosen a level of acceptance into inevitability that wasn’t previously there

I’m falling into that same pool
A pool I once feared I would drown in has become a pool I now fill up every day

Spitefully running across the surface, tempting the hands to reach out and pull me under
It’s okay if they do
We’re all out of time, what’s one more partner in the abyss going to hurt?

Vast and dark, the pull underneath can be frightening
But that’s only the result of the unknown

Uncertainty clouds every meter deeper we go
What mystical monsters might we encounter?
What demented endeavors might we pursue?

Shall the tentacles reach out from the depths
Grasping you and our forefathers
Absorbing a family tree through Osmosis Jones
Slapping our will in the face as we chase dreams foretold?

What will happen then
When we can fight no more against the rising currents
Joining in force with the creatures that work to hold us under for the rest of eternity?

What will happen when the darkness consumes our eyes
And all we can see are the insides of our minds?

What will happen then?

I don’t know, it’s too dark to see.