Difficulties
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It’s a challenge
Coming to the fold every day
Often times I push it till night
By then I’m already too tired
I try and fight the feeling
Stacking my fears to the ceiling
But the tingle is far too controlling
It seems like simplicity
A pen to paper in eternity
Yet the blisters bubble
Soaking the pain with infinity
Improvisation seems to be the key
Opening the mind to blockage erasure
Insecurity shows its face through the gaps
Obscuring the thoughts racing to be free
Rhyming schemes repeat in simplicity
Growing an anxiety of failure to engage thee
Without an audience in front of me
I’m left to decipher alone, completely
I try to stop it in the process
Repetition of lines in the conscious
But the stress lags behind
A skipping record lost in time
I try to stop it in the process
Repetition of lines in the conscious
But a lagging thoughtfulness
Presents an image of something uninspired
Not the opposite of inspired
Nor the presence of originality
But the acceptance that all that came before
Is all that will rest before
Originality based in pain
Conceptually felt eternally
I try to stop it in the process
Repetition of lines in the conscious
But the pain of mistakes before
Take of the ink the pen allows to flow
Disconnected from intention
Subconscious finally controlling the presentation
I try to stop it in the process
But it’s finally set free
The anger and sorrow
Often felt until tomorrow
A term of relativity
Leaving us destined to perpetuity
Finally released
Amongst the letters on a page
Coating the memories that once soaked my brain
I used to stop it in the process
Repetition of acceptance
Unwitting suppression of obsession
Creating a culture of forgiveness
Ignorance to the abuse of a loving hand
Pretending that the world is alright
If we try, we’ll do it, we can!
Interrupted process of understanding
Emotional decompression of a forceful hand
Built in deception out of fear of conception
What if this is the end?
What if there is no reason to mend?
The fights aren’t worth it for resolution
Debase the self
Embrace the health
Not of mine but of thine
I used to stop it in the process
Repetition of forgetting perception
Now I choose to grow
Seeking protection in the form of direction
A weekly meeting
Therapeutic seating of emotional bleeding
An understanding of the resentment
Based within the subconscious of intention
I used to stop it in the process
Repetition of tool based destruction
Now I recycle and face reality
50 milligrams of protective serenity
I still obsess over repetition
Habitual patterns allowing for creation
I just notice my subjection
Analyze the basis of intention
Accepting the developed inspection
I used to stop it in the process
Now
The process is all I need
