Difficulties

It’s a challenge
Coming to the fold every day

Often times I push it till night
By then I’m already too tired

I try and fight the feeling
Stacking my fears to the ceiling

But the tingle is far too controlling

It seems like simplicity
A pen to paper in eternity

Yet the blisters bubble
Soaking the pain with infinity

Improvisation seems to be the key
Opening the mind to blockage erasure

Insecurity shows its face through the gaps
Obscuring the thoughts racing to be free

Rhyming schemes repeat in simplicity
Growing an anxiety of failure to engage thee

Without an audience in front of me
I’m left to decipher alone, completely

I try to stop it in the process
Repetition of lines in the conscious

But the stress lags behind
A skipping record lost in time

I try to stop it in the process
Repetition of lines in the conscious

But a lagging thoughtfulness
Presents an image of something uninspired

Not the opposite of inspired
Nor the presence of originality

But the acceptance that all that came before
Is all that will rest before

Originality based in pain
Conceptually felt eternally

I try to stop it in the process
Repetition of lines in the conscious

But the pain of mistakes before
Take of the ink the pen allows to flow

Disconnected from intention
Subconscious finally controlling the presentation

I try to stop it in the process
But it’s finally set free

The anger and sorrow
Often felt until tomorrow

A term of relativity
Leaving us destined to perpetuity

Finally released
Amongst the letters on a page
Coating the memories that once soaked my brain

I used to stop it in the process
Repetition of acceptance
Unwitting suppression of obsession

Creating a culture of forgiveness
Ignorance to the abuse of a loving hand
Pretending that the world is alright
If we try, we’ll do it, we can!

Interrupted process of understanding
Emotional decompression of a forceful hand
Built in deception out of fear of conception

What if this is the end?
What if there is no reason to mend?
The fights aren’t worth it for resolution

Debase the self
Embrace the health
Not of mine but of thine

I used to stop it in the process
Repetition of forgetting perception

Now I choose to grow
Seeking protection in the form of direction

A weekly meeting
Therapeutic seating of emotional bleeding

An understanding of the resentment
Based within the subconscious of intention

I used to stop it in the process
Repetition of tool based destruction

Now I recycle and face reality
50 milligrams of protective serenity

I still obsess over repetition
Habitual patterns allowing for creation

I just notice my subjection
Analyze the basis of intention
Accepting the developed inspection

I used to stop it in the process
Now
The process is all I need

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Aaren Herron

Aaren Herron

23 Followers

Creative writer working to hone his craft, no longer at the expense of a mental state.