It’s Never That Easy
The goal was to be happy
Joy and health
Not to sprint past responsibilities
Blinders on with no tints
The goal was to build a future
Three chirps and a pitter patter across our hearts
Not to tear up the wings
In view of our neighbor’s Ring®
The goal was to cut the vice short
Filling lungs with fresh air and chambering rounds for later
Not to spend 40 minutes “preparing” before every venture
Not to spend every night “releasing” the anger from that day
The goal was to do it alone
Strong and braced for impact
Not to scare and flee for the church
Ringing the bells for all to hear
The goal was to fix it today
A workout of wills and compassion
Not to give it up to future us
Unwitting in its weight
The goal was the Hope
The reality is the truth
A presence of stress and fear unignored
A one-sided affair of commitment at no expense
The other side blind to the meaning of every word sent
One side here
One side there
Never fully able to connect
Drifting ever outward in defeat
It wasn’t always this way
We used to join hands
Floating around each other with grace and joy
It wasn’t always scary
We would sleep, arm in arm, unsure of tomorrow
But certain of each other
We may drift for an eternity above the abyss
But we drifted together
It wasn’t always this quiet
We used to sing our tune
As the birds gather
Providing the dressing to our emotional salad
But somewhere down the line
A crack began to form
Beneath the gaps in our feet
Somewhere down the line
I began to look around
Letting go for only a moment
When my eyes found yours once more
I had drifted miles from you
Unable to see the path we once set
I thought I saw you wave at me
But the fog rolled in too quick
Surrounding me in an instant
Thunder smacked at my sides
Smoke filled my lungs
And the ice bellow began to melt
As the fog grew thicker
As the light grew dimmer
As the ice below grew thinner
I started to feel the pull from that great abyss below
Tempting me into its clutches as every moment passed
Yet, I fought that temptation
I balanced on one toe
A ballerina’s finest
Fighting the urge to sink
Further and further I go
Eyes forward, legs stretched
Only briefly looking below
Just as the deep dark glimmered
Just as the unknown caught my eye
Just as I thought I might give up and dive
Land struck first
Sending me face first into a pit of sand
Attempting to swallow me whole
I struggled, squirmed, and fought as hard as I could
Each grasp of sand crumbling in my hands
Feeling as though I could never climb any higher
Yet my feet found ground and my hands found hope
Pushing me out of the desert’s mouth
To stand atop a hill of mirrors
Reflecting back at me what I feared deeper than the abyss
That the cracks in ice came from me
Me alone
That the dark abyss is a friend I’ve known for many years
While the darkness seeps out of my eyes
Filling the gaps of space within the mirror
I spot a brick marked “honesty”
And I threw it as hard as I could
Shattering that image that attempted to control me
Forcing the darkness out of my eyes
Replaced with a shimmering river of gold
Illuminating that which I hold closest to my heart
Though I cannot see behind me
I hope that the fog does not remain
That you can find your way across the waters
Unhindered by the threat of what lies below
