Signed Paul

What makes you hold it inside? Is it an anger, a painted rage, or a vision full of sorrows?

Will your hallowed heart fill the chambers of my hollow soul?
Completing images of brilliance and grace that’s eluded me so

Or will I find myself staring back into the mirror of fate, regretting the choices that led me here?

The opening of a locked door
Countlessly imploring for more

Of what I need
For what I’ll bleed
Unsure of when this nightmare will end

Or is it the truth?
A mirror shattered in place
Shards of glass lining the pathway up

Past all the demons of faith
Through all the valleys of death
Reflecting back an enlarged pro state of loss
and an emerging vengeance

Repayment for the mistakes we made
Not just me, nor completely you
A combination of pains
Felt deeply and terminally engrained

An accelerated co-dependency
In full view of both

I realize it’s far too late
To come clean about the lies I make
All those dreams we’d take
Unfiltered and decomposing on the front porch

Save our rage for someone more accepting

Save our pain for someone more caring

Save our brains for something more calming

I look what I’ve done
I’m a conqueror
Untrustworthy in my intentions

Invading your heart and begging for all of your attention

Don’t look left or even right
Keep your eyes focused on mine
Don’t watch for my wandering hands
Run from your doubts
Baby girl, I’m not here for the pouts

I want you here and now
I’ll linger just a little bit longer
Probably much further
Than my honestly would allot

Now I look at what I’ve done
Coated in facts deeply denied
Soaked in the blood you gave

Un-Returned

Mooching off the love you give
Running out of my own far too soon for me to care
A love ensnared leaves behind a lone victim
As I rise above, growth in misdeeds
I’ll leave behind a few pesos for your heart to feel

Something is better than nothing
Nothing is what I gave before

Be grateful

I can’t afford to return the favor
At least not till I reach a few years sober

You know I would’ve died for you
But I wanted to die anyway
A release from this pain is the greatest gift you could give me

I tried to explain it to you
But every time the engine boils
You’d greet it with only laughs
Claiming it’s just not a big deal

Well Touché

But there is something I must say

This rage you feel inside
The hatred for the lies I fed you
The sorrow for the tears I pulled out over shattered dreams and broken hearts
The prison walls I built around your soul

None of that matters

It’s not a big deal

Just get over it

Meet me outside in the rain some day
We can battle it out
Hiding our sorrows in the droplets streaming down our face
The blood from our wounds washing away into the drains

I thought I can’t lose you
My heart tied to yours through eternity

But as the cracks grew and the pain began to show
I learned this was something I couldn’t handle anymore

So, I broke the chain
And all that became
Was my need to never see you again
Or else that rage filled sin will begin

I miss you deeply
I hate you greatly
I never want to see you again
I’ll love you forever

There’s nobody else that could pull out what you did

I’d ask you to take me back
But we deserve someone much better

Toxicity of dependency
We weren’t meant to be

Only meant to be free

Awakening the Eagle inside us both

Now we soar